Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Monday, January 3, 2011

Fathers and their importance...

"Father: a role model who gives the gifts of guidance and wisdom while learning how to stretch his ability to love beyond what he knew was possible"

I was on the phone with my girlfriend this morning just talking about everyday life, and raising our kids, and we came across the topic of the difference in how we were raised, our parents, and how we are doing today.  And funny as it may seem the roles in life have completely reversed, you see more wives working or making the bulk of the money, and the men just barely working or making ends meet.  Before I get off the subject what I was trying to figure out is what happened to the importance of being a father.  Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around someone not wanting to give your undivided attention and love to something so precious that you helped to create.  I'm always watching the way my kids act and wondered if they knew the difference of not having a parent in the home vs. a child who doesn't have a father figure in the home, but he is very active in their life.  
 I get frustrated with the lack of parenting from men because I really don't believe that they truly understand their importance in a child's life whether it be a male or female child it still is such a critical point.  Men sometimes (not all men) when going thru divorce or separation often separate themselves from the children also, so it makes me question the idea of were you a parent while in the home, or did you feel that your presence made you an active parent.  Children need to know and feel that they are loved, and if two people decide for their betterment that they cannot be together, then they should be able to continue to be a great father in their child's life.  But I haven't been seeing that lately, often I listen or talk to kids who are in the hospital, and you always see the mother and wonder where your dad is?  Does the mom have to carry the load at all times?  Even when the child is sick?  When I think of my own parents, and think about how my dad could have done things so much better than now, how some of my choices and decision because of them, could have been so much better...I don't know I guess I just get a ill frustrated with wanting men to take care of their responsibilities so that little girls won't go out here looking for love because they don't know what it is or what it is supposed to feel like, so the first guy that comes along and gives his definition of what love is, then they fall for them, or so that little boys will know how to love a woman, respect her, take care of her, and treat her like she needs to be treated.  Men I just want you to take time and understand your importance...because a child is not like a weed that can be picked and thrown away...They need and crave LOVE!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Is love really enough!

Sitting here at work at 2:45am reading a couple of folks blogs, and ran across one that talked about their father being in their life.  So i just pondered that thought for a moment!  My dad was in my life, but he wasn't, when i say that i mean he was known, i knew who he was, what he looked like, what car he drove, but never actually had that daddy/daughter bond.  Now in my 30's im just wondering to myself, what makes a man a father or a real dad.  My mother never put him on child support so that wasn't it, she never asked of anything, i guess she figured because she had a good dad that mine would do the same, but never happened.   Funny thing is it took my mother passing away a couple of months ago, for him to want to be a parent, and for me to care!!!  And at times before her passing i knew i had grudges against him, and i would try to fight them but i couldn't....HURT would probably sum it up, and not understanding why produce all these kids, just to leave them, but my mother would always say "Don't let the sins of your father be the reason that God never forgives you"...meaning i need to learn to forgive and move on so that i can be forgiven for anything that i have, or will ever do!  What a smart woman!!!  Although i used to be HOT with her for loving a ungrateful person....Seemed like no matter what he did, she would just take him back, and seeing all that growing up just made me realize, i cannot just give all of me, and never get anything in return.  But that's neither here nor there....LOL....im only laughing because i realized that God's timing is nothing like mine!  He has his own plan.  Now granted his slate isn't completely clean with me, but i'm working on it, because i had to face the facts no one is perfect, and although i regret....let me take that back i don't regret him not being there because it has allowed me to be who i am today...but part of my soul wished he could have just been a real father, he didn't realize how easy he had it...all i needed was a positive example, and i guess he knew that he couldn't do it, so he just couldn't be around...FUNNY and now i find myself calling and checking on him....why i guess because in reality i'm still his child....So i guess God's love will change your heart, mind, and spirit, and allow you to be who you need to be in this life, no matter what your past circumstances are.......LEARNING TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON!!!!